Parenting: Potty Training: Keep them incontinent ~ northernmum
A good friend of mine texted me today to tell me her son had christened the potty for the first time. I hasten to add her that she was also texting to say hi and wasn’t just regaling me with more poo...
View ArticleDay 2…. Is Hell Freezing Over….
The Holiday Diary If you missed Day One – click here Day Two, Twin boys diary entry: I went to the park, I was tired. Twin girls diary entry: I went on the climbing frame and the slide. My entry:...
View Articleliving with disease
My grip is slipping, someone must have greased my fingers whilst I slept as my slight grasp on sanity is sliding away. Either that or I have become the latest victim of school holidayitis. I looked up...
View ArticleThe Battle of the Bathroom…
I glanced at my watch, I needed to leave the house at 12.45pm and it was fast approaching 12.10pm. My bag was by the door filled with its usual goodies ranging from nappies to wipes to excess loo roll...
View ArticleParental Happiness Is….
Parental Happiness is… Exiting the house before 9am without suffering a sore throat from all that shouting. Struggling into a pair of size twelve jeans without a five year old asking why don’t you buy...
View ArticleGina Ford: Payback is a bitch….
For years I was known locally as the sleep guru, I was the irratating fresh faced mother of twins who had them sleeping through at nine weeks. Whilst other first time parents looked like they had done...
View ArticleThe lies I was told….
Having children has been an eye opener for me. Finding out Santa was a fabrication in my youth was hard to deal with but really some of the lies I have been told since then regarding children are...
View ArticleNHS – the new choice in luxury breaks…
We decided to stay an extra night. I chatted to BB about going home but we both felt that we were having such a good time in the NHS hotel it was worth staying longer. For those of you looking to...
View ArticleWhen your fake busom lands on the platform floor
Imagine the moment… It’s 11am, you have snatched four minutes sleep in the last twenty four hours. You are currently dressed in something resembling clothes but the posset stains and general...
View ArticleWarning: Freakish content: do you agree?
Is it just me or does anyone else find children just that tiny bit freaky? I have three of my own so I don’t feel that I am arguing without any fuel in my fire so to speak. It can’t just be me that is...
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An apology to all the tired, knackered mothers
Dear tired, knackered mothers, I’m sorry. When the twins were born I fell under the category of smug mother, my children slept and they slept well. Around me the rest of you wandered around looking...
View ArticleDear Natalie Cassidy,
Dear Natalie Cassidy, I did your exercise DVD last night, yes I know, finally after nearly 18 months of not shifting my backside and consuming extreme amounts of chocolate, pasta and bread I decided...
View ArticleThe inappropriateness of nursery rhymes
I have never been a fan of group singing. Sure after a few gins in the local bar on a foreign holiday I am likely to miraculously transform into a white, slightly sun burnt in places Tina Turner and...
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The exact moment I turned middle aged….
I have to confess I didn’t think I would be able to actually pinpoint the moment that I turned middle aged, as in down to the very second. But I can. It was yesterday, Saturday 11th of May at 11.36am....
View ArticleThing you can learn whilst running
I ran today, outside, in the rain. I feel that we know each too well now for me to lie to you, so I will share the truth. I found running fecking awful, my calves were tighter than a ducks bottom...
View ArticleThe red rage of parenting
If parenting were to be governed by examination I reckon I am probably still in Key Stage one, SAT level. If I revised more, listened to my inner subconscious instead of letting my emotions rule my...
View ArticleThe one with BB and her imaginary friends
BB has a group of imaginary friends, they first appeared about six months ago, just in time to join us for our holidays, and they show no sign of leaving anytime soon. Much of the time it is quite...
View ArticleCompeting with a child
“How many can you count to little one?” “Oh lots and lots, mummy.” “Do you want to tell me,” “Ok.” A furious look of concentration takes over her features and she splays out her fingers in front of her...
View ArticleDid Santa burn a Puppy?
Santa, I wasn’t sure whether or not to pen you a letter this year. Last year was pretty disappointing, after I all but got down on my knees and begged for a dog, you didn’t grant my wish. That is...
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Eight years since a fear free fumble
It is the twins birthday this week, they are turning eight. For most of the week I will be patting myself on the back and toasting myself for managing to parent (without badly maiming) two children...
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